At length, I even offered her personal violence.
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My pets, of course, were made to feel the change in my disposition.
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I not only neglected, but ill-used them.
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For Pluto, however, I still retained sufficient regard to restrain me from maltreating him, as I made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits, the monkey, or even the dog, when by accident, or through affection, they came in my way.
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But my disease grew upon me-for what disease is like Alcohol?-and at length even Pluto, who was now becoming old, and consequently somewhat peevish-even Pluto began to experience the effects of my ill temper.
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One night, returning home, much intoxicated, from one of my haunts about town, I fancied that the cat avoided my presence.
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I seized him; when, in his fright at my violence, he inflicted a slight wound upon my hand with his teeth.
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The fury of a demon instantly possessed me.
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I knew myself no longer.
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My original soul seemed, at once, to take its flight from my body; and a more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrilled every fibre of my frame.
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I took from my waistcoat pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped the poor beast by the throat, and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush, I burn, I shudder, while I pen the damnable atrocity.
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When reason returned with the morning-when I had slept off the fumes of the night's debauch-I experienced a sentiment half of horror, half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been guilty; but it was, at best, a feeble and equivocal feeling, and the soul remained untouched.
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I again plunged into excess, and soon drowned in wine all memory of the deed.
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In the meantime the cat slowly recovered.
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The socket of the lost eye presented, it is true, a frightful appearance, but he no longer appeared to suffer any pain.
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He went about the house as usual, but, as might be expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach.
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I had so much of my old heart left, as to be at first grieved by this evident dislike on the part of a creature which had once so loved me.
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But this feeling soon gave place to irritation.
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And then came, as if to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of Perverseness.
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Of this spirit philosophy takes no account.
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Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart-one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of man.
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Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law, merely because we understand it to be such? This spirit of perverseness, I say, came to my final overthrow.
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It was this unfathomable longing of the soul to vex itself-to offer violence to its own nature-to do wrong for the wrong's sake only-that urged me to continue and finally to consummate the injury I had inflicted upon the unoffending brute.
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One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree-hung it with the tears streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest remorse at my heart-hung it because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no reason of offence-hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin-a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it-if such a thing were possible-even beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most Merciful and Most Terrible God.
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On the night of the day on which this cruel deed was done, I was aroused from sleep by the cry of "Fire!" The curtains of my bed were in flames.
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