For you cannot sarse the goose and not the gander.
And here's Mrs. Cruncher, or leastways wos in the Old England times, and would be to-morrow, if cause given, a floppin' again the business to that degree as is ruinating-stark ruinating! Whereas them medical doctors' wives don't flop-catch 'em at it! Or, if they flop, their floppings goes in favour of more patients, and how can you rightly have one without t'other? Then, wot with undertakers, and wot with parish clerks, and wot with sextons, and wot with private watchmen (all awaricious and all in it), a man wouldn't get much by it, even if it wos so.
And wot little a man did get, would never prosper with him, Mr. Lorry.
He'd never have no good of it; he'd want all along to be out of the line, if he, could see his way out, being once in-even if it wos so."
"Ugh!" cried Mr. Lorry, rather relenting, nevertheless, "I am shocked at the sight of you."
"Now, what I would humbly offer to you, sir," pursued Mr. Cruncher, "even if it wos so, which I don't say it is-"
"Don't prevaricate," said Mr. Lorry.
"No, I will not, sir," returned Mr. Crunches as if nothing were further from his thoughts or practice-"which I don't say it is-wot I would humbly offer to you, sir, would be this.
Upon that there stool, at that there Bar, sets that there boy of mine, brought up and growed up to be a man, wot will errand you, message you, general-light-job you, till your heels is where your head is, if such should be your wishes.
If it wos so, which I still don't say it is (for I will not prewaricate to you, sir), let that there boy keep his father's place, and take care of his mother; don't blow upon that boy's father-do not do it, sir-and let that father go into the line of the reg'lar diggin', and make amends for what he would have undug-if it wos so-by diggin' of 'em in with a will, and with conwictions respectin' the futur' keepin' of 'em safe.